


Eyes Open

by Laylah



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-18
Updated: 2007-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 06:18:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laylah/pseuds/Laylah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kairi pulls her clothes on and slips out after him, barefoot, feeling for the way he pulls at her heart -- she can feel Sora off in the other direction, probably at home, and Riku down by the beach. Of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes Open

When she wakes up the room is full of darkness -- not just the lights being out, but the element, the _presence_, smoky and thick, so the air feels oily and heavy and close. Kairi sits up in bed, the sheets falling to her waist, and shivers. It's gotten cold, the other side of the bed empty, the hour late.

Her window is open. Riku is standing there staring out, too tall and too broad-shouldered, and Kairi knows that if the moonlight weren't washing out all the colors his skin would be burnished deep bronze. He's pulled his pajama pants back on, even though they don't quite fit him in his changed shape, and she thinks, oh, Riku.

"Come back to bed," Kairi says. "It's late."

Riku starts, and turns back toward her. "I can't," he says. Even his voice is Ansem's. "Look at me."

"I'm looking," she says. "You're still Riku."

"It's not that simple." His voice is low and rich, too smooth for the anger she knows he's feeling. "He's _here_." Riku presses a hand over his heart. "I can hear him. I'm -- I'm not ever going to be rid of him completely."

Kairi slides out of bed. The floor is cool under her feet, and Riku looks away, as if he could stop Ansem from seeing her naked. "Maybe not," she says. "But you're stronger than he is. You've already proved that. And you have friends to help you, any time you need to be reminded." She takes Riku's hand. "Come back to bed."

"I don't trust him," Riku whispers. He holds perfectly, carefully still as Kairi leans against him. His skin is warm against hers.

"I don't trust him either," Kairi says. "But I trust you."

He gets back in bed, even if he rolls over on his side and won't look at her, holding very still until his breath evens out in sleep at last and Kairi can slide an arm around him.

In the morning he's back to normal, or almost. He's still a little hesitant, a little stuttery, when she presses up against him and rocks slowly, and he acts like he doesn't know what to do with his hands. But he figures it out when she climbs on top of him, and he pushes and she slides and the morning light comes in the window and everything is all right.

* *

Only it isn't, not entirely. Not for good. Kairi doesn't realize it at first -- the days fly by so fast, and they have so much to keep them busy in the long lazy summer, that it's a few weeks later before there's another night when Riku is supposed to stay over with her and instead she wakes up to find him gone.

The window is open again, because one of the things that Riku and Sora have always had in common is the tendency to do things the hard way. Kairi pulls her clothes on and slips out after him, barefoot, feeling for the way he pulls at her heart -- she can feel Sora off in the other direction, probably at home, and Riku down by the beach. Of course.

She threads her way down to him carefully, trying not to step on any prickly burrs, or shells that have landed points-up in the sand. He's changed again, sitting on the shore where the waves don't quite reach him, his jeans tight now instead of baggy, his shirt crumpled on the sand.

"You shouldn't be here," he says, without looking back.

"Ask me how I found you," she answers, sitting down arm's length away and digging her toes into the sand. The moonlight on the water looks like the pathway to another world.

The waves lap against the shore for a long minute before Riku gives in. "How did you find me?"

"I followed your heart," Kairi says.

That makes him look up at her at last. His eyes shine in the dark like a cat's. "Kairi," he says, and then doesn't go on.

She smiles at him encouragingly. "Does this happen when you're with Sora?"

He shakes his head. "I -- I think Sora scares him. He's been beaten by Sora before."

"So you think he'd really leave you alone if I kicked his ass too?" she asks.

Riku laughs, more like she's startled him than anything. "You can't -- are you serious?" His own voice is coming back, sweet and tenor.

"I'll do it if I have to," Kairi promises. "But I bet it won't come to that." She reaches out and takes his hand, and he doesn't pull away.

There's an old lullaby that Kairi remembers about half of, a song that she thinks somebody must have sung to her when she was very little, about calling the stars to watch over the sleeper and keep him safe. She starts to sing it now, and Riku closes his eyes, listening. There are some parts in the middle where she has to make up a word or two, and eventually she comes to a line she doesn't remember at all. She hums that part, and Riku can't seem to help smiling.

"What?" she says. "I'd like to hear you do better."

"No," Riku says, "I wasn't laughing at you. I promise. Keep going." He looks like he's relaxing, like he's forgetting to be quite so certain that things are hopeless.

Kairi sings until her voice is going hoarse, until Riku has calmed down enough to fade back into his own shape and let her lean against his shoulder. "It's cold," she says at last.

"Sorry," he says. "I didn't mean for you to come out here, too."

"Silly," Kairi says. "I'm not going to take any chances, with the way you run off."

She claps a hand over Riku's mouth before he can apologize for that, too, and lets him help her up so they can go home.

* *

This time she knows to keep watching him, to keep an eye out for signs that he's not really comfortable yet. The last thing either Kairi _or_ Sora wants is to have to go looking for Riku across dozens of worlds again. And -- he probably knows better than to run off like that now, but -- better to be sure.

She goes over to spend the weekend at his house, late in the summer, when his parents are out of town. The morning is good -- even if he complains about getting out of bed to let her in, he makes up for it by cooking breakfast. And the afternoon is just the way she always hopes it'll be when they take a little time to themselves -- they go down to the beach to play in the water, and Riku forgets to worry about anything at all, splashing, laughing, seawater clinging to his hair.

It's not until the sun goes down that he starts to seem nervous. He's quiet over dinner, and doesn't try to touch her at all when they go upstairs to his room afterward.

"Riku," Kairi says, closing the door. The breeze from the ocean stirs the curtains on the windows. The moonlight tints everything faintly blue.

"I can handle it," he says. He pulls his shirt off over his head, and the way his shoulders move is just gorgeous. "I won't let him get to you."

"He hasn't been anywhere near me in years," Kairi says. She unzips her dress and shrugs, and it slides off. "I want to try something. Do you trust me?"

Riku looks wary, but he says, "Of course I do."

Kairi lifts her chin and looks him in the eyes. "Then stop fighting. Let yourself change. You won't hurt me."

"But -- I can't --"

"You can't _lose_," Kairi says, resting her hand flat against his chest, over the steady flame of his heart. "It's all right."

He closes his eyes, and she can't quite read his expression -- whether it's more fear or relief -- and then he's changing, straightening taller and more muscular, the darkness in the room gathering itself closer and twining around him. But the warmth in his heart never even flickers, never gives her any reason to doubt. For all that he worries, he's one of the strongest people she knows.

"Well?" he says, in that rich, low voice. He opens his eyes and looks down at her. "Is this what you wanted?"

"It's a good start," Kairi says. She leans in closer, so they touch, and reaches up to cradle her hand around the back of Riku's neck. "Now don't be afraid."

"I'm not," Riku says, but he's still tense when she stretches up on her toes to kiss him. He closes his eyes, and his lips part hesitantly, like he's trying to be careful with her, trying not to do anything that's going to hurt her or frighten her or something. Which is sweet of him, it really is. But.

Kairi slides her hands down his sides, and digs her fingers into the ticklish spots between his ribs. He breaks the kiss sputtering with laughter, grabbing for her hands. The expression is so out of place on Ansem's face that Kairi can't help grinning. "See? It's going to be fine." She looks down at their hands. "You could tie me to the headboard and I'd still be perfectly safe."

His eyes go wide. "I'm _not_ doing that to you," he says.

"I know." She pulls, and he lets go of her hands immediately. She reaches up to unhook her bra, then pushes her panties down and steps out of them. "Come on," she says, and tugs on the buttons of his jeans when he doesn't take the initiative himself.

He moans when she reaches into his pants to stroke him, and pushes into her hand, so she holds onto him like that while she works on getting his pants down with her other hand. He helps, and then she has him naked, finally, and she can't help taking a step back to just look at him.

Xehanort must have been older than they are now, she thinks, because Riku's changed shape is so much more developed, muscle filling out his frame. He's self-conscious about it, shifting awkwardly, ducking his head in a way that would usually make his hair fall in his face. "What?" he says. "What are you looking at?"

"Someone I love," Kairi says simply. She takes his hand and pulls him with her, toward the bed, and flops across the mattress in a sprawl. Riku follows her, more slowly, until she wraps both arms around him and pulls him down. "You're still Riku," she murmurs into his hair. "And everything is fine." He smells like darkness, the cool mossy scent of it clinging to his hair, but she can feel his heart, the same bright seeking heat in his chest that's been there as long as she can remember.

"I can't," he says hoarsely. "I mean. I _can_ hold back, but. You feel so good." His hand slides down her side, rests at the curve of her hip.

"I don't _want_ you to hold back," Kairi says. She kisses the spot where his pulse beats in his throat. "I want you to touch me."

He shivers, but he takes her at her word, for once, his hands stroking her skin. If she only feels with her body it's strange, like someone else touching her just like Riku does, down to the way his palm cups the bone in her shoulder, the way his fingertips know the sensitive spot on the nape of her neck; but if she closes her eyes and feels with her heart, it's completely familiar, completely right.

But she thinks she needs to do this with her eyes open, if it's going to get through to him. So she watches as his mouth closes over her breast, and arches her back to encourage him. She keeps her eyes locked with his when she draws him down on top of her, when his breath catches in his throat as he slides in. She calls him by name as she moves under him, _Riku, Riku, yes, Riku_, her legs locked around his waist, strange as it feels to have him this close in this shape. She clings tight to him when she reaches her climax, sobbing pleasure into the hollow of his neck, trembling under him.

And after that, when he hesitates, she tightens her legs around him. "Don't stop," she says. "Don't you dare stop now." She reaches up, and curls her hands around the carved posts of his headboard so she can push against him. His eyes flare golden, and the darkness gathers around them, thick and heavy, and maybe she should be afraid, but she _knows_ him, in this shape or any other, and she knows he won't hurt her. "Don't stop, Riku," she says, "don't stop, don't stop --"

"Kairi," he breathes, "Kairi --" and the darkness unravels around him when he comes, and his heart is full of light, just like she's always known it was.

Her legs shake when she lets go of him, and she can feel a little giddy laugh bubbling up in her throat. When it spills from her mouth, after a moment Riku joins her, resting his forehead against her shoulder and laughing in what sounds like pure relief.

"It's all right," he says, "isn't it? He didn't...."

"No," Kairi says. "He didn't do anything at all." She tugs on his hair, the heavy, satiny fall of it. He hasn't turned back yet, but it feels like he's actually relaxing despite that. "You're still Riku, all the way through."

He might forget that again -- Riku tends to think the best of his friends, but the worst of himself. But if he does, Kairi thinks, she'll be ready. She'll remind him as many times as it takes.


End file.
